How do you tell a confrontational person bad news? Many managers and human resource personnel deal with a variety of personalities on a day to day basis. Being a competent communicator, knowing yourself first, and being able to apply objective criticism will help in situations where bad news is the topic on the conference table.
Let’s say for example, you have to give one of your employees, Jack; “the talk”. Your job is to respond to the numerous complaints by other employees and customers of your company about Jack, and you have taken notice of his substandard level of performance. So now it is time to put a plan together, since you also know that Jack has been with your company for two years and has displayed confrontational behavior creating a hostile environment for everyone. What is a good strategy for tackling this situation?
1. Analyze. Before you enter in a conflict situation, know the rules and do you research first. Have a list of the customer and/or employee complaints, but keep them confidential. Also have a list of company policies from your human resource department so you are well versed about recursive action and dismissal policies.
2. Identify the problem/needs/issues. You will want to stay objective and unemotional during this manager-employee conversation, so it will be wise to lay out why Jack’s behavior is not productive to your business, how it is harming the team, etc. When you are identifying the problems, try to replace negative words with positive ones. Try not to say things like, “You’re bringing everyone down!” Instead, think along the lines of, “It would be quite productive if we could find where the communication is breaking down between you and our customers.”
3. Tell Jack, “It’s time to talk.” Try to pick a time and place that is comfortable for the both of you. Choosing a good setting and time of day can be very beneficial during stressful talk times. Try not to wait until the end of the busiest work day, and the end of the week when you both are tired.
4. S-TLC. When entering into a potential conflict situation, the S-TLC guidelines are best to keep in mind. Stop, Think, Listen, and Communicate (Abigail, 2007). If Jack starts arguing right off the bat, stop everything. Think about what he is saying. Are they angry words? Frustration? Venting? Is there something between the lines he is trying to communicate? Is there a problem at home that doesn’t even have a thing to do with his behavior at work? Take yourself out of the conversation and the room for just a moment, and quickly analyze what Jack is expressing.
Listen. Listen to everything Jack says and show your body language that you are hearing him. Don’t fold your arms, that gives the signal you are closed off or frustrated. Give Jack plenty of time to say what he needs to say. Remember, it’s better said to you, his manager, than a customer or employee, which is why he is in your office. And finally, communicate. If you are unable to come up with a collaboration to keep Jack working happily, or if Jack just needs some time, break here and get back together when you have had time to compromise.
5. Consider Jack’s point of view. You will know what needs to be done whether it be dismissal or corrective action, but make sure you don’t become the bully, but the one who fixes the situation so everyone wins in the end. Where is Jack coming from? Asking the right questions at the right time will lead you to answers. Is Jack frustrated because of a missed promotion? It could be something as simple as his cubicle is too small or his lunch is too short. Jack is a human being with needs, wants, and desires. Try to get all of your answers and walk a mile in Jack’s shoes before throwing stones.
6. Resolve. If Jack turns out to be just an angry, burnt out tech support guy….you may need to dig a little deeper for this resolution. Remember Abraham Maslov? That was the guy who created a hierarchy of human needs for survival. Food, shelter, all that jazz. But there were a few work related needs on that pyramid too. The need to be accepted into society. The need to feel empowered in your job and in your life. The need to feel accomplished. Go back to the roots of the matter, what is it that will make Jack happy? It is up to him ultimately to do that, however, as his boss, you have the tools to guide him, and they keys to unlock his doors. Help Jack get to where he needs to be, even if that is out of your direct employment.
Delivering bad news to a good and long time employee is definitely not easy. Some people think it takes nerves of steel to look someone in the eye who is struggling and say, “Hey, it isn’t working out, I’m going to have to replace you.” And maybe it does take something involving steel, who knows? If you are a suave communicator with a few tricks up your sleeve, you can pull off leaping over tall buildings in a single bound. Then you can be the man or woman of steel, and the company hero!
References
Abigail, R. A., Cahn, D. D. (2007). Managing conflict through communication. Boston: Pearson
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