Close Encounters of the Expatriate Kind

Our world is becoming smaller. Once upon a time, people seemed so far away, so distant. We experienced the world through novels, newspapers, or if you were lucky enough, the military sent you somewhere exotic. Now, the world seems to appear right in front of us with a click of a button (or double click….). When I was little, I remember waiting patiently for my father to return home from Australia, Taiwan, and Tokyo, usually equipped with stuffed animals or toys he had picked up along his travels.

It was the early 1980’s, and my dad was an expatriate. He managed operations overseas, often leaving his family behind for what felt like lengthy assignments. I never knew what was so special about my dad that they always chose him for these foreign assignments. To me, he was an exotic spy who spoke foreign languages and could melt metal with his gaze. Turns out, he was the best in his field and chosen for his communication competence, his technological prowess, and negotiation skills (I still think he can melt metal with his gaze…).


Following in his footsteps, I hope to become an expatriate manager someday in one of those foreign cities. With today’s globalization of companies constantly competing in the world economy, I think we will see more workers travel abroad to set up shop. Our economy is changing, our world is evolving, and this is a new era dawning upon us to where I feel the need to strap myself in for quite the journey. We are no longer aliens in search of a better society, but a diverse world in search of opportunity on the World Wide Web.

In order to survive the global workplace, I felt it best to study the failures and successes of expatriates before me. I found that without a repatriation program (inserting the worker abroad back into American culture) most assignments fail. I found that the percentage is high for resignations after being abroad, with the number one reason being inability to adapt to new cultures, and reason two being family stress (Bauer & Taylor, 2001).

When expats are away from home for lengthy periods of time, it’s crucial to keep in touch with the home office. Without the home fires burning, the only outcome is burn-out. Why would a company want to blow so much capital to send someone overseas when they can hire local for cheap? “Expatriates represent a competitive advantage for international corporations” such as market knowledge, personal skills, job-related management competencies, and don’t forget the ever important networking negotiations (Bauer & Taylor, 2001). This probably explains why I could never get away with anything when it came to my dad.

The best and brightest are chosen to hone these skills abroad; I hope I follow in my dad’s footsteps. If I never see the wonders of the world in person, it will be o.k. I can always learn to melt metal with my gaze. I’m sure that will come in handy in a variety of industries still left in America.
Bauer, T. N. & Taylor, S. (2001). When managing expatriate adjustment, don't forget the spouse. The Academy of Management Executive, 15(4), 135-137

Surviving Conflict

We fight. Conflict is inevitable, yet it is something we fear, run from, become frustrated at, and engage in it so often, there are mediators and therapists waiting to earn a dollar on them. So what is all the fuss about?

It’s the way we fuss. How we handle the dirty grimy fussing that causes all the extra fussing in the end. Let’s break it down and become competent communicators. Or what I like to call, a fussin’ fool.

When you start an argument or you feel one is coming right at you, don’t run away or allow anxiety to set in. You are always in control of your mindset, your emotions, as long as you prepare in advance and practice a few things first. The S-TLC steps are important guide lines I learned in college to get me through any conflict that comes my way.

1. S-Stop. When a conflict arises, stop everything. Take a few moments to grasp the situation. Put the breaks on anger, stress, and emotion. Every conflict is a chance to learn something, so try to see it a positive growth situation.

2. T-Think. While your conflict partner is screaming, hollering, or just nagging, think about everything happening in that exact moment. What are they doing? Is there any body language that gives you a tip how they are feeling? Absorb everything you can. Think ahead about what you are going to say. Plan your tone of voice. My personal tip: the softer you speak, the quieter they have to become in order to hear you!

3. L-Listen. Not only do you listen to their words, but read between the lines. Play the psychiatrist here. What is the meaning behind what they are arguing about? Do they jump from one topic to another? Are they bringing up the past? These are all clues to the issues you will have to address. My tip: If it is in the past, keep it there. Guilt trips are for losers, if you did not handle the situation back then, right now is certainly not the time. Move forward!

4. C-Communicate. You have a choice here. Either communicate back with your thoughts, ideas, and solutions right then if you are ready, or you can shelve it until you both have time to work out a few options. Try to collaborate, not compromise. When you compromise, someone is still giving up something they truly desire, just to make the other person happy. When you collaborate, you both dream up a new solution that gives you everything you want. It is easier said than done sometimes, but if your partner can think outside the box and isn’t stubborn, this is a win-win solution.

If all else fails during conflicts, a mediator or arbitrator can be sought after. This can be costly, and hopefully your negotiating skills are sharp. Some people just won’t follow the rules when it comes to conflict. Don’t be that person, be the better person who sees the situation for what it is. A chance to learn, to grow, and come out of it a winner.

How to Give Jack the Bad News

How do you tell a confrontational person bad news? Many managers and human resource personnel deal with a variety of personalities on a day to day basis. Being a competent communicator, knowing yourself first, and being able to apply objective criticism will help in situations where bad news is the topic on the conference table.

Let’s say for example, you have to give one of your employees, Jack; “the talk”. Your job is to respond to the numerous complaints by other employees and customers of your company about Jack, and you have taken notice of his substandard level of performance. So now it is time to put a plan together, since you also know that Jack has been with your company for two years and has displayed confrontational behavior creating a hostile environment for everyone. What is a good strategy for tackling this situation?

1. Analyze. Before you enter in a conflict situation, know the rules and do you research first. Have a list of the customer and/or employee complaints, but keep them confidential. Also have a list of company policies from your human resource department so you are well versed about recursive action and dismissal policies.

2. Identify the problem/needs/issues. You will want to stay objective and unemotional during this manager-employee conversation, so it will be wise to lay out why Jack’s behavior is not productive to your business, how it is harming the team, etc. When you are identifying the problems, try to replace negative words with positive ones. Try not to say things like, “You’re bringing everyone down!” Instead, think along the lines of, “It would be quite productive if we could find where the communication is breaking down between you and our customers.”

3. Tell Jack, “It’s time to talk.” Try to pick a time and place that is comfortable for the both of you. Choosing a good setting and time of day can be very beneficial during stressful talk times. Try not to wait until the end of the busiest work day, and the end of the week when you both are tired.

4. S-TLC. When entering into a potential conflict situation, the S-TLC guidelines are best to keep in mind. Stop, Think, Listen, and Communicate (Abigail, 2007). If Jack starts arguing right off the bat, stop everything. Think about what he is saying. Are they angry words? Frustration? Venting? Is there something between the lines he is trying to communicate? Is there a problem at home that doesn’t even have a thing to do with his behavior at work? Take yourself out of the conversation and the room for just a moment, and quickly analyze what Jack is expressing.

Listen. Listen to everything Jack says and show your body language that you are hearing him. Don’t fold your arms, that gives the signal you are closed off or frustrated. Give Jack plenty of time to say what he needs to say. Remember, it’s better said to you, his manager, than a customer or employee, which is why he is in your office. And finally, communicate. If you are unable to come up with a collaboration to keep Jack working happily, or if Jack just needs some time, break here and get back together when you have had time to compromise.

5. Consider Jack’s point of view. You will know what needs to be done whether it be dismissal or corrective action, but make sure you don’t become the bully, but the one who fixes the situation so everyone wins in the end. Where is Jack coming from? Asking the right questions at the right time will lead you to answers. Is Jack frustrated because of a missed promotion? It could be something as simple as his cubicle is too small or his lunch is too short. Jack is a human being with needs, wants, and desires. Try to get all of your answers and walk a mile in Jack’s shoes before throwing stones.

6. Resolve. If Jack turns out to be just an angry, burnt out tech support guy….you may need to dig a little deeper for this resolution. Remember Abraham Maslov? That was the guy who created a hierarchy of human needs for survival. Food, shelter, all that jazz. But there were a few work related needs on that pyramid too. The need to be accepted into society. The need to feel empowered in your job and in your life. The need to feel accomplished. Go back to the roots of the matter, what is it that will make Jack happy? It is up to him ultimately to do that, however, as his boss, you have the tools to guide him, and they keys to unlock his doors. Help Jack get to where he needs to be, even if that is out of your direct employment.

Delivering bad news to a good and long time employee is definitely not easy. Some people think it takes nerves of steel to look someone in the eye who is struggling and say, “Hey, it isn’t working out, I’m going to have to replace you.” And maybe it does take something involving steel, who knows? If you are a suave communicator with a few tricks up your sleeve, you can pull off leaping over tall buildings in a single bound. Then you can be the man or woman of steel, and the company hero!


References
Abigail, R. A., Cahn, D. D. (2007). Managing conflict through communication. Boston: Pearson

Going Tech

Who would have thought we would be so tech savvy in 2010? I know while folks were settling across the Midwest in 1877, they were thinking about enough hay to get through winter, let alone the very first piece of media technology! This picture is of Thomas Edison’s tin foil cylinder phonograph. Looks like it weighs a ton!

With the invention of the first computer in 1941, designed to break German Enigma codes, everyone can access and own their own version of The Colossus (personal computers anyway) as a desktop, laptop, notebook, or even hand held version. What fun would a personal computer be without access to the world? The internet bridges gaps between people with networking web sites like Facebook and Twitter, connects businesses like LinkedIn.com, and allows us to research history like, “What is an Enigma Code” on search engines such as Google.com. The wave of technology has swept hard and quick through our generations with media tech devices like the IPod for music and videos, and the all purpose cellular phone. Cell phones can now capture pictures much like their digital counterpart the digital camera, and record video as well. Oh and we occasionally use them to make a phone call or two.

I strolled through an indoor mall just this weekend, and stopped dead in my tracks. Standing not two feet to my left was coin operated pay phones. Once upon a time I would be searching the McDonald’s and convenience stores for a pay phone when my car broke down. Hey, that was only 1993, not so long ago…ahem. Some of us would not know what to do without a cell phone. We even keep them charging in our cars for those lickity split emergency situations….If our phone is out of power, well we know someone else very close by will have one in their pocket for sure.
Some folks not traveling to settling down in the Midwest might be just traveling through to see some very old sights like the Grand Canyon. The use of satellite communication and GPS navigation systems are almost a guarantee to be included in any new automobile purchase. Web sites like Google Earth displays satellite pictures as close as your license plate on your car parked in your own driveway. Creepy…but hey, we’ve all done it, haven’t we? Maybe we’re just exercising our inner 007?

With the technology bursting at the seams these days, it is nothing to see a young kid walking down the street using all four media tech devices at once. No wonder he doesn’t hear the ice cream truck anymore. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather take a break from the internet and actually chase down an ice cream truck right about now.

In The Raw

Two months ago, I bought a book written by Michelle Bernard titled, Raising Cats Naturally. With the advent of pet food recalls and incurable diseases, I decided to do some research about pet food and what I was feeding my animals. Bernard teaches you how to "re-engineer a mouse" with a few recipes, photos, and testimonials. I have to say she did her research too.

Here is a picture of Peanut with her first mouse. I was floored when she actually ate it.

Think about it. Cats don't cook in the wild. They are obligate carnivores, meaning they have no stomach (literally) for grains or vegetables. Sure they munch on grass, but that is usually to clear something from their very short digestion tract that did not settle well. It's not because they love their veggies.

My two cats are 10 years old this year, their coats are shiny, soft like satin, and they are so energetic, I should have bought stock in pet toys rather than pet food companies. They now have "prey night" which is...they meander outdoors to catch a mouse and eat it when I fail to give them their midnight snack.

If you are interested in going raw, contact me for useful websites, recipes, and comments about the transition period. If you would like to know what is really in your commercial catfood, I have videos that will make you vomit. Cats don't have diabetes, cancers, IBD, or urinary tract infections in the wild. If they do, its a rare case, and probably because they scavenged pet food from somewhere.

Once I went raw, I never looked back. And I save about $45.00 per month on cat food by making it myself. I'll even mention the little need I have for vaccinations and vet bills. They are healthy, naturally, as nature intended.